Why you should be grateful–even if you’ve lost your job

Posted by Doug on November 26, 2008

You have suddenly found yourself without a job.  You may have lost your job for reasons that were entirely out of your control.  Perhaps the current state of the economy is to blame.  Or perhaps the circumstances of your dismissal epitomize the word, “unfair.”  Maybe you saw it coming.  It might even have been a relief.  Or maybe you just screwed up and got your sorry butt fired.

Whatever.  It happened, and it mostly sucks.  The main question now is, “How am I going to respond to this?”  Maybe you’re here, reading Underpants Office because you have realized that you are going to have to figure out how to make a go of it on your own for a while, at least.  That’s a step in the right direction.  And more than anything, right now you need to take some steps in the right direction.

You must choose how to think about what has happened to you.  It is natural to feel hurt or angry if you feel your dismissal was unfair, and it is just as natural to feel ashamed if you were fired because you messed up.  You will probably have to go through a season of those kinds of emotions, but if you choose to stay there for long, you won’t do yourself any good.

I’m actually going to suggest that you find some reasons for gratitude in your situation, and not just because it’s Thanksgiving season–it’s actually the wise thing to do, and current research is backing that up.

According to a study conducted in recent years on gratitude and thankfulness, there are several measurable benefits associated with having a grateful attitude:

• General well-being:  people who are grateful generally experience more positive emotions, more satisfaction with life, more optimism, and lower levels of both stress and depression.  This doesn’t mean they are in denial about the negative things in life, but simply that their outlook is more positive.
• “Pro-sociality”:  people who are grateful are generally more inclined to be understanding of others, and are more generous and helpful to other people.
• Spirituality:  people who are grateful tend to be more spiritual, tend to recognize the interconnectedness of all life, and feel a responsibility to other people.  This could mean that spirituality breeds gratitude, or that gratitude fosters deeper spirituality–either way, there is a correlation.  (I believe that all I have is a gift from God, and I begin each day by thanking him for it.)
• Decreased materialism:  those who are grateful tend to put less importance in material possessions, and are less likely to judge themselves or others on the basis of what they have.  Grateful people tend to be less envious of others and more likely to share what they have with other people.

The study suggests several techniques for developing a daily disposition of gratitude:

• Keep a gratitude journal. Take a few minutes each day to write down what you are grateful for that day (and why), and to think gratefully, on paper, about the good things in your life.  Experiments have shown that people who do this tend to exercise more regularly, feel better about their lives in general, and felt more optimistic about the days ahead.
• Make a gratitude list. This is less involved than a journal–just a simple list of things that you are thankful for.  Over time the list may become very long, and that’s good.  In experiments, people who kept gratitude lists were more likely to make progress toward personal goals than those who didn’t.
• Take time to think gratefully each day. In the study, people who practiced a daily “gratitude intervention” were more alert, more enthusiastic, more determined, more attentive, and more energetic than those who focused on their troubles or were envious of other people.

All of these findings suggest to me that if you’ve lost your job, whatever the reason, you will do well to begin counting your blessings immediately–you’ll be far more likely to make progress toward a new career, you’ll be happier with your life, you’ll be healthier, and you’ll be friendlier and more helpful to others.  All of those results will be of value as you work on rebuilding your life and your career.

In case you’re still having trouble getting your mind around this, let me suggest several possible things for which you might be grateful.  None of these is meant to ignore the fact that you don’t have a job, or that you’ve just lost your source of income, or that there was pain and/or embarrassment involved in what you’ve been through.  But if you’ll take a few minutes to think about these and perhaps find other reasons to be grateful, you’ll find the path to the next stage of your life is a little easier:

• You’ve got some extra time on your hands. If you’re like most people, there are a thousand things that you’ve wanted to do, but couldn’t, because you had to work.  Well, some of those things might actually get done now, especially if they don’t involve spending money–things like cleaning the garage, tending to the yard or garden, tinkering with the car, reading, pursuing art in one form or another, listening to music.
• You’ve got some time for your family. When I quit my job almost a year ago, I became a house-husband for a while.  My wife was working, and I helped create some margin for her by taking care of many of the household things that she used to do–cleaning, laundry, cooking, taking my son to and from school and work, doing various errands and such.  This created some extra time and space for her that she really appreciated, and it didn’t take all of my time–I still had plenty of time to pursue my career aspirations.  If you have kids, you may find that you can connect with them now in ways you never could have before.
• You’ve got an opportunity to take better care of yourself. When I quit my job, I weighed well over 300 pounds, from years of sedentary work, way too many fast-food lunches, and little time for exercise or recreation.  I started working on my diet and fitness in early May, and now at the end of November, I’ve lost 70 pounds and I feel better, physically, than I have for years.  Not eating out is cheaper and healthier, too.
• You’ve got an opportunity to shift gears, so to speak. Unless you really loved the job you just lost, you’ve now got a chance to re-invent yourself and your career.  Why not go for it?  With online education widely available, there’s a good chance you can retrain and embark on a whole new career path, even while you work another job to pay the bills for a while.  There are countless ways to go into business for yourself–freelancing, consulting, you name it.  (For some ideas, check out the Underpants Office Bookstore.)  You might find that you are willing to trade reduced income for increased flexibility.  And you may find that you are more successful doing something you really love than you were at the job you just lost (or left).

Here are a few books that may interest you:

The Psychology of Gratitude (Series in Affective Science)

Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier

Count Your Blessings: 63 Things to Be Grateful for in Everyday Life . . . and How to Appreciate Them

So what are you thankful for?

(As always, if you liked this article, I’d appreciate diggs and stumbles!)

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